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[Episode Transcript]
Plot
The big four get sentenced to Saturday detention. Dawson threw a basketball at Pacey's face after Pacey called him "Oompa Loompa", Joey beat up a kid, Jen challenged one of her teacher's views on doctor-assisted suicide, and Pacey, well, he just shows up. Another girl, Abby, is also sent to detention. Dawson and Pacey turn against each another because of Dawson's insecurities about his relationship with Jen. During a game of truth-or-dare, Pacey and Jen kiss and Joey and Dawson kiss. Dawson's a little perturbed while Jen and Pacey kiss while Joey happily watches. Abby asks Pacey why he is in detention but he refuses to answer. During the game, Pacey asks Joey, "Who do you like?" but Joey opts for the dare. On Joey's turn, she gets Jen to admit her lust for Dawson.
Being incredibily bored, the gang next plays "Guess my butt," a game of xeroxing and guessing whose butt belongs to who. Dawson and Pacey's competitiveness leads next to a game of one-on-one basketball. Pacey loses and must admit why he was in detention. The game ends with a quarrel. Meanwhile, Abby gets Joey to admit her feelings for Dawson. In the end, they all end up back in the library, with a sobbing Joey trying to admit her feelings towards Dawson. This is all interupted when the librarian walks in and lets them all go.
Stats
| Production Number | 106 |
| Original Airdate | 3/3/98 |
| Rank of First Airing | 82 |
| Share | 5.2 |
| Written by | Mike White |
| Directed by | Allan Arkush |
| Guest Starring | Monica Keena as Abby Morgan |
Great Lines
Joey: You can't stand the idea that if a girl is choosing between two guys, she might not choose the romantic doofus who woos her with flowers... she just might choose the guy who has the faster car, or the bigger bicep, or, the bigger joystick.
Dawson: How's your nose?
Pacey: Broken, thanks.
Pacey: No way! Emilio Estevez, he was in those Duck movies, remember? God, those were classics. So funny! What?
Jen: Time to pull your pants up, Pacey.
Joey: You know, when did everyone become so obsessed with sex? And now you too, Dawson. If you're worried that everyone's more experienced than you, you can just rest easy. You still have one friend who will probably go to her grave a virgin.
Dawson: Joey-- it's just a matter of time--
Joey: Before what? Before my brain short-circuits and I start bedding down with every guy with a fast car and big biceps?
Dawson: Before you find the right person.
Joey: I have.
Dawson: Joey?
Joey: I'm sorry, Dawson, I don't-- I don't know what's going on. I have all these feelings, these weird feelings and I don't know how to say it, and I can't say it. I mean-- we've known each other for so long and you know everything about me-everything and i can't even say this. I can't and I just feel really lonely.
Dawson: Jo, you're not alone--
Joey: Yes, I am.
Dawson: I'm-- Jo, I'm here for you. I was here for you in sixth grade, I'm here for you now, ok? Nothing you could say is gonna change that. Nothing! And maybe if you just- say these things, then you know, they'll be out in the open. Your feelings won't be as strong anymore, you know? You need to be free.
Joey: I can't. I can't. Cause if i say these things, I can't ever take them back. It'll change everything and I can't do that. I can't.
Pacey: Dawson, you're not a little oompah-lumpah any more... you're a big, bad, manly oompah-lumpah.
Pacey: Did you know the cheerleaders are doing splits in the gymnasium? How am I supposed to play ball with a distraction like that?
Joey: All right, out of all the boys in Capeside, is Dawson the one you're most attracted to?
Jen: Do I like Dawson the most?
Joey: That's not what I said. Simply put, do you lust for Dawson?
Jen: I don't know what you mean.
Joey: Well, let me put it this way- when you look at Dawson, do you just want to jump his bones, or when it comes to looks, would you rather boink someone else, someone like... Pacey?
Jen: That's a stupid question.
Dawson: Why is that a stupid question?
Pacey: I don't have a problem with this question.
(Submitted by Beth)
Abby: I am so bored.
Pacey: Where's your ectasy, Abby? We could go to the boys locker room you know...
Abby: I don't have any left and even if I did I wouldn't waste it on Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer.
Pacey: Awe, you're not gonna let Rudolph join in any of your perverted reindeer games.
Abby: That's it, we should all play a game.
Pacey: How about Pin-the-tail-in-the-hobag, huh?
(Submitted by Rachel Marcus)
Abby: Oh my god, Pacey, what'd you do to your beak? Get into a car
accident while picking your nose?
(Submitted by Julie)
Abby: This one's so perky and petite, it's gotta be mine!
(Submitted by Meredith)
Stupid Jen Lines
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"Well we can't all be like you, Abby, having your little exctasy games on the floor of the boys locker room." -- You had them on your parent's bed with half of New York!
(Submitted by Katie)
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"Time to pull your pants up, Pacey." -- Said in her dreams after the act of living.
(Submitted by hater)
-
"All I've ever tried to do is be your friend" -- Then why did you tell Joey to stop dwelling over your relationship with Dawson and get a boyfriend.
(Submitted by hater)
-
"I... I guess I could try to more... wench-like..." -- Why would you even need
to try? I think you're a big enough wench, slut and duck-faced slut!
(Submitted by Niki)
-
"Let's play Guess my Butt" -- So everyone can see that your butt is the ugliest and has been entered the most by penises?
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"Don't you think that at some point, life is not worth living?" -- You life is not worth living (or enduring).
-
"I said bitch in the classroom. -- Oh that is sweet, at your 15 years you already know how to spell your name.
-
"It's nothing Dawson. I don't really remember what was I laughing of." -- Bastard, you were making fun of him.
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"Back in New York my girlfriend used to baybysit for Ally Sheedy." -- So what do we care about you and your lesbian friends, and does that have any sense?
(Submitted by P.Mosh)
Breakfast Club Part II 
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