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| Transcript: Modern Romance |
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Transcript Page 2Pacey: Remember how I told you getting Jen back was a two-part process?Dawson: Yeah. Pacey: Well, this is the second part. Dawson: What? Humiliating myself at an amusement park? Pacey: No man, dating other women. This is your chance to let Jen see you in action with other girls. Now I'll admit that going on a double date would be kind of an advanced maneuver but high risk, high reward, this could be exactly the thing you're looking for. Dawson: Except for one thing. Pacey: What's that? Dawson: My companion for Saturday at this point is Fiction. Pacey: That's not really a problem. I mean, I admit, it's kind of short notice but there's a lot of young ladies who would give up their very uneventful plans for a date with Dawson Leery. Huh? Dawson: Yeah. Pacey: In fact, I think I have the perfect candidate, right there. *CUT TO: Close-up of Mary Beth. CUT TO: Dawson standing above Mary Beth's table.* Dawson: Mary Beth. Mary Beth: Oh hi Dawson. Dawson: Do you mind if I join you? Mary Beth: Oh no no no please. Dawson: Look I was...*laughs*...maybe this is short notice and if it is I apoligize but I was wondering if you wanted to sort of go out with me on Saturday. Mary Beth: Like on a date? Dawson: Yeah. Of course. Is there something wrong? Mary Beth: No...yeah, well, yeah, um, I know that you just broke up with Jen. And I don't know the particulars of it all but I do know it's a common mistake made by many to date before they're really ready. Dawson: I'm ready. Completely ready. Could not be more ready. Mary Beth: Honest? Dawson: Honest. *CUT TO: Inside Marine Biology classroom where Joey and Pacey are sitting behind an aquarium.* Pacey: Boy this is fascinating. Joey: I'm sorry there are no cartoons to make it interesting for you Pacey but it's not designed to be fascinating. It's designed to be educational. Pacey: Thank you Dr. Schweitzer. Now refresh my memory as to why we're here again. Joey: Observing the reproductive process of pomenatis snails. And Dr. Rand said that they reproduce more when they're happy so by varying the contents of the tank we can determine which factors are most condusive to the reproduction. Pacey: Why didn't you just say that? We'll buy 'em a couple drinks, turn off the lights, and come back in a couple days. Joey: You know you never fail to disappoint do you Pacey? I mean, why did I actually think that the very real prospect of repeating marine biology next summer might cause you to take this project seriously. Pacey: Please. Summer school? Joey: Yeah. Pacey: *laughing* It'll never happen. Only morons go to summer school. Joey: Yeah, well the last time I checked you're pulling a stellar F minus so without this extra credit project, Pacey, I'm very well certain that, you're grade will not only place you squarely among the morons, but you may very well be their leader! *CUT TO: Dawson's room. Dawson is doing some kind of craft and his dad [Mitch] walks into the room.* Mitch: Hey. Dawson: Hey. Mitch: Sorry to interrupt but I was wondering if anyone called that I should know about. Dawson: Nope. Nothing. Mitch: What about yesterday? Any calls? Dawson: C'mon I always leave your messages on that little pad next to the answering machine. Mitch: Forgive me Dawson but maybe I'm not being clear. I didn't ask if anyone had called for me personally. I asked if anyone had called that I should know about. Dawson: No. He didn't call. Mitch: Ah, well then, very good. Thank you Dawson. *CUT TO: Inside the marine biology room.* Joey: Pacey it was your responsibility last night to check on these snails and now look at them. They're dead. Their shells are completely empty. Pacey: I know it. I'm sorry. I really am. Joey: Ridiculous. I mean, yesterday we had a science project and now we have what? Two-thirds of a charm bracelet? Look I'm going to tell Dr. Rand that this experiment within an experiment just isn't working out. Pacey: Hey before you go run off to Dr. Rand there is an explanation for all this. There is. Alright ya know how you said this experiment was all about seeing which environment was best for the snails right? So I did come in last night. And I was watching the snails and I'm watching the snails and nothing's happening. So I added some food and then I added some water and there was still nothing happening in there so I thought the problem maybe wasn't the environment. Maybe these snails just didn't like each other. Right? Maybe they just needed to loosen up a little bit. Joey: Pacey I told you yesterday. Pomenidis snails are single-sexed they DON'T need another organism to reproduce. Pacey: Alright and I would have remembered that if I actually listen when you talk to me. But I just thought that maybe snails are just like guys, ya know, that their ultimate fantasy is to be with two female snails at the same time. Right? Maybe that's what this project needed to get moving along. Joey: Let me get this straight: You tried to create some sort of a snail menage a trois? Pacey: Well it sounds stupid when you say it outloud, but it...I just saw this REALLY pretty snail over in the tank over by the window...and I don't know last night it just seemed really brilliant. Joey: Let me fill you in on something here. You know this pretty little snail over here by the window? It's what you call a carnivore snail...and do you know what carnivore snails eat? Pacey: Other snails. Joey: Yeah. Other snails. Other snails such as our snails. Such as the snails that we're desperately relying on to raise our marine biology grade. Pacey: Okay. I'm sorry. Okay? I know how important this project was for you...to us, okay? So whatever I need to do...however I can make this up to you Joey. *CUT TO: Joey's front lawn. Dawson is outside telling Joey about what's going on and Joey is picking stuff up in her yard.* Joey: I'm disappointed in you Dawson. I mean, it's obvious you're just using Mary Beth to make Jen jealous. Dawson: I know. Do you think I don't know that Joey? I'm a eel (?) of the worst kind. The kind that preys on an innocent young girl with an inexplicable crush on me and convinces her to go out with me for my own personal gain. Joey: Well if you know that then don't do it. Just call her up and tell her you have to stay in to....wash your hair or something. Dawson: Yeah but I can't Joey. It's just I know if I was really the person I thought I was I would have enough consideration for Mary Beth's feelings and cancel the date but I don't know I just....I don't feel like myself lately, ya know? Anyways, Pacey says I should look at this as an oppurtunity. Joey: Wait you're taking romantic advice from a guy who spent his evening trying to get three snails to sleep with each other? Dawson: Well when you put it that way... Joey: Look, Dawson. Your little departure into Jerkdom is understandable perhaps but it's nothing to be proud of. Just promise you won't make a habit of it? Dawson: Jo. I won't. I promise. Joey: Because, despite current evidence to the contrary, you're one of the good ones Dawson. And the other side is populated enough. Dawson: Ya know, all things considered, I really wish I was taking you with me tonight. Joey: Well, all things considered, I kind of wish you were, too. *Pacey pulls up in a truck. Honks the horn twice.* Pacey: C'mon Joey let's get a move on. Joey: I see my devient lab partner has arrived. Pacey has gratiously offered to transport me to the tidal pool so we can find a pair of suitable replacement snails. See ya! *CUT TO: Carnival* Mary Beth: Dawson! Dawson! Dawson: Mary Beth! Hi. Mary Beth: Hi. So is it too forward if I tell you you look really nice? Dawson: No it's not, thanks. So do you. Mary Beth: Oh no you shouldn't feel obligated to say that. I mean...I uh...let's just start over again. Hi I'm Mary Beth. Dawson: Dawson. *Jen and Cliff walk over.* Cliff: Perfect. Looks like we're just in time for introductions, huh? Dawson: Yeah! Mary Beth...this is Jen Lindley....and Cliff....her date. Jen: Hi Mary Beth. Nice to meet you. Mary Beth: Same here. I think. Um Dawson...a word, please. Dawson: Sure. We'll catch up! Mary Beth: This wasn't a pre-coincidence, was it? Dawson: A word, no. Mary Beth: Look maybe on your planet taking your ex-girlfriend on a double date is a good idea, but from where I come from it's not. In fact it's a decidedly lousy idea. Especially when you fail to inform your evening's companion. Dawson: It's not what you think. Mary Beth: Well, before you tell me what I think, let me tell you. I think it's pretty obvious that you're still hung up on her. Dawson: Mary Beth! Mary Beth: Please know that I am not often wrong about this. Dawson: Not now. Mary Beth: Humor me. Dawson: Okay. Here's the absolute truth. *Commercial break* *Joey and Pacey rowing down a stream* Pacey: I've often regarded trowing for snails one of the most underrated ways of spending one's leisure time. Joey: Ya know despite what you may think this isn't my first choice for a Saturday afternoon either. But then again I wasn't the one who tried to turn our aquarium into Plato's retreat now was I? Pacey: Ya know Joey I've been curious about something. I thought you were this great student....so what happened to you on this mid-term? Joey: What do you mean what happened? Pacey: What grade did you get? Was it a massive failure like mine or was it one of those near-misses? I'm dying to know. Joey: Ya know we're almost there and we don't have a lot of time. Let's just save the chit-chat for later, okay? *CUT TO: Carnival* Mary Beth: So you're really doing this for Jen? Dawson: Exactly. Mary Beth: Oh it's one of her first dates with Cliff...she probably doesn't want to be alone with him...she probably doesn't even know if she likes him....so in order to take the pressure off...she asked to make it a double. God Dawson that is really very sweet of you. Dawson: Really don't mention it. Mary Beth: I can imagine some of these guys even trying to sabotage their ex girlfriend's dates. Dawson: Really? Thats terrible. Mary Beth: Yeah I know. But anyway...what should we do now? Dawson: Um...*sees Jen and Cliff at a game booth*...I think I have an idea. *CUT TO: Joey & Pacey looking for snails on a marsh* Joey: Alright Pacey the water's getting kind of high so we should probably --- Pacey! Pacey: What? Joey: Please tell me that you tied our boat up and the one floating downstream isn't ours. Pacey: I tied the boat up and the one floating downstream isn't ours. *Joey sighs* *CUT TO: Carnival. Dawson & Cliff are throwing baseballs at three bottles. Cliff knocks down more than Dawson.* Cliff: Oh tough luck little man. Booth Guy: And we've got a winner. Cliff: Which one? Jen: Go ahead. Pick whichever I trust you. Cliff: Great. We'll take....that one. Booth Guy: Big cat for the little lady. Mary Beth: You know what the ferris wheel is working again so if anybody wants to take a ride... Dawson: Once more you and me. Cliff: What's that? Dawson: You heard me. Rack 'em. Cliff: Look Dawson there's no shame in losing here. I mean I did come in 3rd in the pitch-hit-and-run summer contest in Boston so if you don't wanna get-- *Dawson throws a ball* Dawson: Your turn. Mary Beth: Classic pissing contest. Dawson: After you. Cliff: Oh Dawson, no pressure here, alright? Dawson: Yeeessss! Booth Guy: And we've got a winner. So my friend who's the lucky lady? *Dawson looks and Jen and the looks at Mary Beth and then looks back at Jen* Dawson: Um we need to talk. *CUT TO: Pacey & Joey in the water* Pacey: Look it's no big deal the boat will wash ashore eventually. Joey: Well believe it or not the boat isn't my first concern. I should have know after what you did to our snails that I wouldn't be far behind. I'm freezing. Pacey: Look it's just a little cold water you're going to survive. It's a prediction I make with all due (missed the word here) at this point. Joey: Hmm clever. Speaking of survival I thought all creatures of your brain power went extinct a few years back. Pacey: You know it's amazing. A personality like yours and you still can't get any names. Joey: Even more amazing, a personality like yours and you can. *CUT TO: Joey and Pacey climbing out of the water* Pacey: We'll get some dry clothes when we get to your house. For right now though, change into this. Joey: A blanket? You want me to change into that? Pacey: Yeah take off your wet clothes and wrap yourself in this blanket just like I'm going to do. Joey: Wait a minute you want me to get naked? Pacey: Please this is not for my enjoyment it's so you don't get sick. But if you have your heart set on pneumonia, feel free. Joey: Fine. Pacey: No peeking. Joey: Oh yeah. The idea of seeing you in your birthday suit is really my idea of a thrill. Pacey: Well a lot of people would consider you a very lucky woman. Joey: Many people would consider you a very deluded man. Pacey: Okay. All set over here. How you doin'? Joey: You take one more step in this direction and I can almost gurantee you a permanent disability. Pacey: Tell you what...why don't I just start the car? Joey: Good idea. *Pacey jumps into the truck and watches Joey change in the side mirror on his truck* Joey: What? Pacey: Nothin'. Joey: What? What's that smile of yours? Is it because I look ridiculous? Pacey: No. Joey: Or is it that my misfortune amuses you? Or maybe it's because you like putting me in the most awkward situations and watching me squirm Pacey. Pacey: No it's nothing like that. I was just thinking to myself that when you loosen up you're not half bad to be around...bordering on fun even. *Joey looks confused...then she smiles.* Joey: Home please. Pacey: Yes, Miss Daisy.
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