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| Transcript: Breakfast Club |
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Transcript Page 1*Dawson's room, Joey and Dawson are laying on the bed watching a movie when Dawson flips it off.*Joey: What are you doing? Dawson: I don't get this movie. Joey: Yeah but we've been watching it for an hour and a half, I'd kind of like to see what happens. Dawson: When movies get to unrealistic it depresses me. I get a headache, I can't watch. Joey: Unrealistic? Dawson your favorite movie is E.T. Dawson: So? Joey: A fat-fingered alien who eats Reeses Pieces and rides around on a bicycle? Dawson: But the emotion is realistic. This movie, come on, a girl has to decide between two guys so they drag race? She agrees to go out with whoever has the fastest car. Joey: Well, I hate to break it to you, Dawson, but a fast car can be a real turn on. Dawson: Well, why don't they just arm wrestle. Whoever has the biggest bicep wins. Joey: Well, that would work. Give me the remote. *Dawson takes it and puts it out of Joey's reach.* Joey: Give it to me. Dawson: I don't want to watch it. Joey: You're asking for it. *She gets on top of him and starts playfully fighting him for it.* Joey: Come on. Give it to me. You are such a ba-- *They stop and have that awkward silence.* Joey: You know what? This really upsets you, doesn't it? (I don't know if this line is right.) Dawson: It does? Joey: Yeah. Dawson: Okay, enlighten me. Joey: Because guys are attracted to girls for totally superficial reasons. *Dawson uses body language to show that he thinks that is so not true.* Joey: Yes they are. They like girls from New York, with blonde hair, pouty lips, bony arms, and big boobs. But it goes both ways Dawson, it goes both ways. Dawson: Jen does not have b-- *He starts to say big boobs but he stops himself.* Dawson: Bony arms. Joey: You can't stand the idea that if a girl is choosing between two guys she may not choose the doofus who woos her with flowers and cheesy poems, you know? She might just choose the guy with the faster car, bigger biceps, or...bigger joystick. Dawson: Bigger joystick?! Joey: Yes. Dawson: First of all, girls are attracted to romance more than anything. Joey: *Joey makes a face like 'yeah right'* Keep hope alive there. Dawson: Second of all, I don't compete with other guys. You don't see me and Pacey running around arm wrestling over some girl. Joey: Well, as I said, you don't like to lose. Dawson: What's that supposed to mean? Joey: Well, Pacey has bigger biceps. Dawson: No, he does not! Joey: Are you sure? 'Cause I thought he did. So let me get this straight. If girls are so attracted to the romantic guy, why won't Jen have sex with you? Dawson: Jen wants to have sex with me she just-- Joey: She just hasn't gotten around to it. Dawson: Let's watch the movie Joey. Joey: I thought it was giving you a headache. *Dawson stares angrily at the tv and Joey looks at him and rolls her eyes. Dawson looks back at Joey still angry.* *Dawson's Creek theme* *CUT TO hallway. Abby drops stuff from her purse and hurredly picks it up. Joey is giving a presentation.* Joey: The showguns in the Tokogala (there's gonna be a lot of misspelled words so I'm spelling them how they sound) area separated the church from the state. *Abby walks in.* Abby: Mr. Douglas my car broke, sorry. I am so sorry. *She walks towards her seat.* Joey: (continuing) Anyways, the Oko was where the showgun kept his harem. It housed 600 women all in service to one man. Grant: What? 600! Joey: Anyway, since the emperor was in Kioto.. *Grant raises his hand.* Grant: Did you say that 600 chicks were all in service to 1 dude? Joey: Well, I didn't say chicks but yes. Grant: Do you mean sexual service? Teacher: Shh. Shh. Shh. Grant! Joey: Yes. The showgun choose one from 600 concubines. Grant: No way that's intense! Joey: Anyway, as I was saying, since the emperor was in Kioto. *Grant raises his hand again.* Grant: Hello. Over here. Joey: You know, I'll take questions after the presentation, Grant. Grant: Right. Now, did these concubines did they have to doink the showgun? Or did they say like no dykes. Joey: Well it was a great privedeledge to be chosen by the showgun. Grant: So the showgun was like the school stud. Every chick wanted a piece of him, right? Joey: No they didn't want a piece of him. Grant: Sounds like they did to me. Joey: Well that's because you have a low IQ. Class: Ohhhhh. *CUT TO Dawson walking towards the hall and he spots Pacey and Jen talking.* Pacey: We called him Oompa Loompa. Jen: Oompa Loompa? What's that? Pacey: You don't know what an Oompa Loompa is? Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? The little green men that used to stir the chocolate? *Jen starts laughing.* Pacey: I swear. *Dawson walks up.* Dawson: Hey. Pacey and Jen: Hey. *They are both still laughing.* Dawson: What's so funny? Pacey: Nothing. Nada. Nin. Dawson: What's so funny? Jen: It's nothing, Dawson. Forget about it. Dawson: Okay. Pacey: Get pumped, man. It's your favorite time of day...gym time! You know, I think we're playing b-ball today. You know, with that hoop up in the air and that ball. Dawson: Right. I know how to play basketball, man. Pacey: Of course you do, sport. Just don't kick the ball and don't hit it with a baseball bat. *Jen starts laughing.* Dawson: Okay, funny guy, I'll see you later. In gym. Pacey: Roger dodger. See ya later, Jen. Jen: Bye Pacey. *He walks away. Dawson and Jen start walking.* Jen: Aw, I have health with Mr. Pickering now. Just another person in Capeside who has some insplicable (right word?) grudge against me. Dawson: You look incredible today. *He kisses her on the cheek.* Jen: Well, thank you. Dawson: So what were you guys talking about before? Jen: It was nothing, Dawson, really. I don't even remember what it was. Dawson: Okay. Jen: Whew. I'm so glad it's Friday. School is making me so stir-crazy. Let's do something crazy this weekend like river-rafting or jump out of a plane naked. We'll have fun. Dawson: Okay! *They kiss.* Jen: I'll see you later. Dawson: Bye. *She goes into class.* *CUT TO Boys locker room.* Pacey: Did you know that the cheerleaders are doing flips in the gymnasium? How'm I supposed to play ball with a distraction like that? Dawson: Pacey, what were you and Jen talking about earlier? Pacey: Dude, you're fixated. Move on. Dawson: Well you won't tell me so I do believe you were talking trash about me. Pacey: Hey, don't talk trash, recycle it. Dawson: Whatever. Jen already told me what you guys were talking about. Pacey: She did. Dawson: Mm-hm. Pacey: She did? Dawson: Yep. Pacey: Well, I guess that's cool. I mean, Oompa Loompa is not the worst nick name. Dawson: You told her people call me Oompa Loompa?! Pacey: It's not a big deal. Someone was bound to tell her sooner or later. Hey! She thought it was cute. She really did. Dawson, you're not a little Oompa Loompa anymore. You're a big, bad, manly Oompa Loompa. *Dawson shoves him.* Pacey: Alright. Peace brotha! *He gets a kung fu stance then walks away.* Tough guy... *Dawson slams his locker shut.* *CUT TO Health class.* Teacher: Last night, your assignment was to read an article on the euthanasia. Would anybody like to comment on the article? *Jen raises her hand.* Teacher: Daniel! Daniel: That doctors are supposed to heal, not to kill. Teacher: Yes. Helping a patient taking his or her own life is completely at odds with the physician's position. Jen: I disagree. Teacher: Ms. Lindley. I don't know how they run classrooms in New York City, but here at Capeside. You raise your hand. Jen: I'm sorry I just thought that this was a discussion. Teacher: You disagree. Jen: Yeah, I do. If a doctor can help someone to die with dignity, I think it's crazy as a society that we put that doctor in jail. Teacher: Die with dignity? Is this a euphemism for murder and suicide? Jen: No. If they're in pain or if it's only a matter of time. I mean, don't you think there comes a point when life is no longer worth living? Teacher: Life is God's most precious gift and it is his decision on when it should end. Jen: Oh, please. Teacher: That's enough! Jen: For someone lying on their death bed, life is not a gift, life's a bitch! I'm sorry I'm just trying to say that if someone-- Teacher: This is not Times Square Ms. Lindley. We don't use that kind of language here. You just bought yourself Saturday detention. Anybody else? *CUT TO Lunchroom.* Joey: Fishsticks. *Grant and another guy budge in front of her in line.* Joey: Hey Lumberjack there's a line and it starts back there. Grant: Look who it is? You know I liked your report today, Joey. Got a lot out of it. It was very...stimulating. Joey: Yeah well you were a great help. Grant: I also loved it when you called me stupid. I love it when chicks tease me. It turns me on. Joey: Wooo. This may come as a shock to you but just because you're juiced up on steroids doesn't mean you can barge in line wherever you want you know people have been waiting and it's rude. Grant: Oh, did I butt in front of you? Joey: Yeah, you did. Grant: Oh guys, fellas. God, I feel terrible. But you understand, don't you? It's kind of like your report. Joey: Excuse me? Grant: We're like the showguns and this school is like our castle. Whatever we want, we get. Joey: Oh really. Grant: And you can either be my servant or my concubine. What'll it be? *Joey punches him and throws her tray and the other guy then kicks Grant again. Grant is laying on the floor in pain.* Joey: Neither. *CUT TO Gym.* Gym Teacher: Hit the showers, men, let's go! Pacey: Hey Dawson, let's play a little one-on-one. Dawson: What? Why? Pacey: Because I'm on a role with the ladies. You don't get any play when you're sitting on the bench. Dawson: Thanks for the sex tips Casanova. I'm hungry, man. I need lunch. Pacey: It's only going to be for a couple points, man, I'll BUY you lunch. Let's not get crazy I'll buy you a fruit cup, alright? Okay, okay, I'll buy you lunch. You go first. *They start playing and Pacey makes a basket.* Pacey: He shoots, he scores! The crowd goes wild. You know what, Dawson, I'm really kickin your ass. Dawson: If you want to impress the cheerleaders, go shoot freethrows or something, I'm outta here. Pacey: Don't leave man. I need you. You make me look good. Dawson: And how do I do that? Pacey: Well, you suck worse than I do. It was a joke, man, I'm kidding. You can still beat me. Miracles happen all the time. Come on Oompa Loompa. Dawson: What did you call me? Pacey: I said, pass me the ball Oompa Loompa, god....*he turns to the cheerleaders* Hey Ladies! I really love what you've done with that last cheer. *He turns back around and Dawson throws the basketball at his face.* Coach: What the hell? Cheerleaders: Oh shoot. What happened? Coach: What's gotten into you, Dawson? You cool off tomorrow, in all day detention. *CUT TO Dawson and Jen walking down the hallway.* Dawson: Neither of us deserve to be here. Jen: Well, I don't, but I kind of think you do. Dawson: I deserve to be here? Jen: Dawson, I mean, you hit Pacey in the face with a basketball. You broke his nose. Dawson: I didn't break his nose. Jen: Pacey's your best friend. Dawson: Ever since he lost his virginity he's been copping this attitude with me. Jen: I thought you had more control over your animal instincts. Dawson: I wish. But sometimes it seems as if they control me, like when I'm around you. Jen: Come on, we don't want to be late. *CUT TO the library. Dawson and Jen walk in and see Pacey.* Dawson: What are you doing here? Jen: Oh my God, Pacey, look at you. Dawson: How's your nose? Pacey: Broken thank you. Jen: Oh, God, that must of hurt. *She reaches to touch it.* Pacey: Oh hey hey! Jen: Oh sorry! Sorry. Oh that really sucks. Pacey: Tell me about it. Jen: So what are you in detention for? Pacey: It's, uh, it's a long story. Dawson: We got 8 hours. Jen: Oh, it's gonna be so much fun. The three of us sitting around doing nothing. It's just like every other Saturday. *Voices are heard talking.* Pacey: Oh my God, that sounds like Abby Morgan. Jen: Who's Abby Morgan? Pacey: You've never met Abby Morgan? Dawson: The girl is from hell, literally. (I don't know if this phrase is right but hey..) *Abby and the librarian walk in.* Abby: You're turning me into a juvenile delinquent. Librarian: It's about school policy, Abby. Abby: Yeah but I could be outside doing good things for the Capeside community like helping out involids (sp?) and picking up litter. *She sees everybody.* Oh great. It's howdy doody time. Librarian: Sit down, Abby, and think while you're hear in Saturday detention. Abby: But I could do that at home. You could put me under house arrest. I could just sit in my room and think, think, think about what a bad person I am. Librarian: Abby...shut up. Hello everyone and welcome to Saturday detention. Detention is not about fun and games. Detention is about pennance. Sit down, Abby. You are all required to stay here in this library until 5:00. While you are here you should be thinking about what you've done to get detention in the first place and what can you do to improve your behavior. Somebody's missing... *Joey walks up from behind her.* Joey: It's me, I'm here. Dawson: Joey? Joey: Hey everybody. What is this? Some sort of surprise party? Pacey: Oh yeah. Surprise. Break out the pinnata. *Joey takes a seat.* Librarian: Take a seat, you're late. As you know I am the librarian. I have some important work to do in the audio/visual room. If for some reason I have to come out here and discipline you, you will spend the rest of the day shelving books and filing library cards. Now are we down with the program? You are going to be spending the rest of the day together. After 8 hours, you're going to be like family. Abby: 8 hours?! We're going to murder each other. Librarian: Well just don't get any blood on the books. And I mean that. *She leaves and Abby pulls out some gum.* Abby: Anybody want some gum? Dawson: Yeah, actually. Joey: Yeah. Abby: Yeah, right. Oh my God Pacey, what did you do to your beak? Get into a car accident while picking your nose? Pacey: No actually. This chump right over here...he threw a basketball at my face. Abby: Well you should be thanking him. It can't look any worse than it did before. Is that why you're in here Dawson? Attempted manslaughter? *Dawson nods.* Abby: How about you Pacey? Did you get in trouble for damaging school equipment with your face? Dawson: He's not telling. Abby: Oh, must be embarressing. Did you make up another cockamamie story about sleeping with a teacher? Pacey: No. It's none of your business. Abby: Oh, secret's drive me crazy. If you tell us, I'll give you a piece of gum. Oh, you're so cool. Fine. Keep your boring little secret. How about you Jen? What's your crime? Jen: I said bitch in class. It's just Mr. Pickering. He has this whole small-town mentality like a lot of people here do. Joey: Oh, I'm so sorry. It must be so hard for you to put up with us Simpletons. Jen: That's not what I meant. Joey: Must be a real bitch for ya! Abby: Rrrrear! Catfight! Ladies in your corners. How about you Joey? What are you in here for? Not that I'm surprised. I mean, incarceration does seem to run in your family. Joey: Go to hell. Jen: I think you're the bitch Abby. Abby: Okay, Miss Big Apple. If you want to hang with these backwater blacksheep don't let me stop you. *Time lapse.* Joey: I slugged Grant Bodine. Dawson: You slugged Grant Bodine? Abby: No, is that why he left school early? Joey: Yeah. Abby: Oh, come on. That is moronic even for you. I mean, Grant Bodine is like the king of the school and a total fox. Why did they put me in here with all you violent offenders? Dawson: What did you do Abby? Joey: Yeah. Abby: Don't go there, Dawson. Jen: We told you. Joey: Yeah. Abby: Look, I don't want to blow your mind. Pacey: I think we can handle this one, alright? Abby: I don't think you can, Pinocchio. Pacey: Hit me with it. Abby: Okay. Ever been to the boy's locker room? *Dawson and Pacey nod.* Abby: Ever heard of a little drug called ecstasy? *The group acknowledges they have.* Abby: Ever heard of an orgy? *Pacey makes the funniest face right here. I crack up when I see it.* Abby: That's all I can tell you. Sufficed to say that some people in this school aren't afraid to experience some erotic pleasure. But I don't kiss and tell. That's all I can say. Sorry.
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